tidbit

The holidays brought with them much time for familial (both immediate and extended) bonding, and with any Korean family gathering, many gems of awkward conversation and social awkwardness/tone-deafness in general.

A very short compendium of mom's collected musings throughout the holiday season:

On missing a phone call:

Mom: "Sorry !! I miss your call .. I was in bathroom !! Dong dong!!* (this is the word for "poop" in Korean)

Mom's too lazy to cook dinner:

Mom: "Dinner !! Chillier  polle*" (translation: Chipotle)

Her pastor cancelled Bible study and my mom guesses why:

Mom: "Out of town !! Or just not ready himself .. Gasses*" (translation: guesses)

My mom on seeing the sun outside the window around noon (spoken, not texted):

Mom: "What a beautiful full moon!"

Me: "Mom, are you serious? That's the sun."

Mom: "Oh! haha, sorry I wear sunglasses."

more to come....

out of hibernation

Sorry for the egregious lack of posting. Here we go...

Conscious mall shopping with JinButterfly

Mom: "Oh, I want a Tory Burch purse!"

Me:"Why?"

Mom: "Rose's mom had nice one. So cute and young." (We walk over to the handbag section.)

Me: "What about this one?"(I point to a small purse)

Mom: (Silent, purses lips) "No."

Me: "What's wrong?"

Mom: "I don't like it anymore. It looks like Nazi sign. Ohhh, no."

Christmas holiday KAMANEO party

NO words can describe my parents dancing at the Korean Medical Association annual banquet..

or the michael jackson glove/hat that made it's way around the room... or Joey dancing with the president of KAMANEO/michael jackson wannabe and possibly making his year

Prepare Yourselves

The Annual KCPC Christmas Concert, as performed by my mom and her bible study group (scarves, pom-poms, and lone blue tie courtesy of my mom).

i really wish someone had videotaped this.

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my favorite shot (and you really must expand/blow up this photo to do it true justice):

Cake FAIL

My mom watched a Korean tv show last night about baking so today she decided to try and bake a cake, fudge marble cake to be exact. Unfortunately, I was at school until late, so she was left all alone to bake the cake by herself.

After school I went home to my defeated looking mom, and I asked her what was wrong.

"The cake explode in the oven!" she said.

I walked over to the oven and to my horror, I saw this:

"What did you DO to it, mom?" She showed me the back of the cake box and pointed to the word "batter."

"It says here put one cup butter in the cake!" she said, without a hint of recognition. "I wonder, why one whole cup butter? But I try to be honest to the box recipe so I put whole tub butter!"

"Mom, it says pour one cup of BATTER in the pan, not BUTTER," I said, pointing at the words.

"Oh, mistake," she said, smiling and laughing at her misstep. I went over to try a bite of the ruined cake, and to my surprise, my teeth felt something hard.

"Mom, are there walnuts or nuts in the cake?"

"Yes, after the cake started to explode, I thought, oh well, I'll put trail mix in!"

...just another day in the sitcom that is the Kim family.

Lesbian conspiracies

Another bundle of texts:

Mom: Hi

Joey: Hi. I have a test soon.

Mom: Haaaaaaaaaaaa sing a song !! Matataa ok no worry be happy mommy is so much love u !! U are my best lover!!!!!!!!!!

Joey: what? hahaha

Mom: Bless u !! U are my hero!!

...a week later

Mom: Is Emma lesbian?

Joey: What? No. Why

Mom: I found card in Christine closet

Joey: No, they are like sisters

Mom: For sure?

Joey: Yes

Mom: No lie

life lessons from dad:

"Dont worry about the past. The past is beeaaeautiful. " (while sipping on wine)