Old Memories from Bermuda cruise

1. Mom: [Entirely unprovoked] "When man poke you, he jus wan to get bijee!" (translation: he just wants to get busy).

2. One morning on our cruise, my sisters and I barge into my parents suite. We notice a sweater hanging over the screen of the computer on their desk. My mother is in the bathroom, so we ask my dad why a sweater is over their computer screen. He tries to hold back his laughter, but he says quietly, "Because Mommy didn't know how to turn off the computer, she put a sweater over top of it." FAIL.

3. For some reason, my mother loves the Today show (which we all know is the best quality news show on the air today.... ::hack + die::). A few years ago, my mom learned the term "skinny bitch" from the Today show (scintillating newscast). Anyways, the male dancers on the Bermuda cruise were of the flaming Chippendale's dancers breed, but for some reason, my mother couldn't help but keep saying over and over again that the dancers were "skinny bitch!" (pronounced skeeny beech!)... Thanks a lot Meredith Vieira.

Oh, my mother. English as a Second Language victim

I.

So upon my sister's move to her college dorm at NYU, my mother gave her this birthday card (her birthday was around the same time):

Top quotes: "Keep up a good spirit + Make new friend." and "Love others"

Because my sister is only going to find ONE other person to love her in the entirety of NYU. What faith my mom has in her daughters...

II.

Throughout our house, my mother has plastered the walls with pictures of the family. Literally plastered. I can't get a freaking cup of juice without being reminded of my childhood (short, uneven bangs, hello kitty clips, camel toe jorts and all)..

However, in my mother's bathroom.. I think she was a bit worried about her precious pictures getting ruined so she did this:

Yes, everyone, yes. That is cling wrap. That is CLING WRAP. We live in a freaking mansion and she has cling wrap hanging from her marble bathroom's mirror. Classy. Because buying frames just isn't good enough for her.

III.

Lastly, my mother also has notes written to herself placed all over the walls of the house. Bible verses, inspirational words, prayer requests, reminders for her "holy life."

This is what we found on one of her many "Remember" notes (PREPARE YOURSELF):

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

"KEGEL EXERCISE"

AHHHH!..... Oh, dear Lord. I wonder whether she actually understands what those are. I'm going to venture to say no, but I think it's mostly just to save my sanity...

OMG. FAIL.

T'ai chi on Father's Day

So at Greenhouse Tavern, a restaurant that was voted one of the best new restaurants in the entire country by Bon Appetit magazine and voted one of the best in Cleveland as well, my father performs what he considers is T'ai Chi.

He's quite talented... NOT

I don't know whether it's that obvious in the vid, but he's DOUBLE FISTING a GreyGoose martini and a beer (as per usual....)

Youth

Mom, Dad, and I went to the Warren house to do some yardwork. While I'm shoveling mulch into wheelbarrows and weeding, mom is...yes folks... she's swinging! hahah..

Later in the day, a dragonfly is stuck in our house, so dad decides to catch it.

This is him... all excited..

our parents are so cute!!!