Mom's secret texts to Joey (her favorite daughter)

Joey: "hi how r u?"

Mom: "I feel wonderful . I have meeting at lender heaven for ka maneo"

Translation: "I have a meeting at Landerhaven Caterers for KAMANEO (Korean American Medical Assoc.)

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Joey: "hi how r u?"

Mom: "Fantactic ya Hallelua amen bagel good Christine"

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Joey: "ill be home late."
Mom: "Ok i made oh-dang nodduel just for u l"

(Translation: oh-ddaeng noodle, a Korean fishcake soup)

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Joey: "hi what are you u doing today?"

Mom: "I have dinner at yasabi ! 6 .pm with Kauh and Dr Kwon Dr Kim Hong Yong 4406667133"

(Note: Yasabi should be Wasabi restaurant, and the random phone number is there because she probably copy and pasted their names from her address book and didn't realize that happened)

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Random text from Mom to Joey:

"Hi beautiful . Mom love u most ! Don!t worry you will be successful in Jesus time kiss hugh xoxoxoxotooI"

PETA

Mom: [frantic and screaming] "JOANNE! Belle [our cat] pooed in Daddy office!"
Joey: "Don't worry. I'll clean it."
Mom: "UGHHHHOH! Can I give her injectionnn?"
Joey: "What do you mean?"
Mom: "Dontchu know injection? Dontchu know what that mean?"
Joey: "No...."
Mom: "Aiyoo, how don't you know injection!!"
(This continues in same fashion for several minutes)
[Mom walks away, downstairs, frustrated and tells Esther that she "can't believee joey don't know the meaning of injection."]
Joey: "Mom, it means death. I know."
Mom: "No!!............... It means PEACE."
Joey: "What?"
Mom: "World peace!"


(Note: by injection, our mom means that she wants to give our cat a lethal injection herself...)

Texts with Mom

Christine: "Mom! I got the job! I got the paralegal job in New York!"

Mom: "Hallelua thank fully to you toofully"

Christine: "Love you Mommy!"

Mom: "Bless u how wonderful y are . So proud of u . This is miracle. love u how"

Texts from Mom

Joey: "Hi how r u"

Mom: "I Am fine eat good lunch pornnight"

Joey: "Haha thank u. Love u"

Mom: "Bless u beautiful lunch"

(july 7th, 12:08pm)